


I Couldn't Bear To Hurt You

by OofyDoofis



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Angst, Heartbreak, M/M, Slight yelling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-31
Updated: 2018-10-31
Packaged: 2019-08-19 20:29:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16541690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OofyDoofis/pseuds/OofyDoofis
Summary: Arthur needs to break up with Francis.





	I Couldn't Bear To Hurt You

Arthur was booped on the nose.

"What are you doing, you wanker? We're supposed to be watching a bloody movie," Arthur said plainly, with a hint of hostility in his voice that Francis did not notice. They were sitting together on a couch at Arthur's house with a show playing, though Francis was paying attention to something else.

"Come on, Arthee~, I purposely picked a movie we've seen before, so you don't need to pay attention to it...!" Francis went from poking Arthur's nose to poking his cheek. Arthur grunted in some kind of disagreement and tried to lean away, but Francis just inched closer in response.

"Look, let's just watch the movie, okay?" Arthur repositioned himself further away, focused on the screen with an air of discomfort and annoyance.

Francis of course misunderstood. "Aww, relax, Artie! Let's just have a good evening, shall we?" He squished himself up to Arthur and rested his head on Arthur's shoulder.

Arthur shuddered and froze. This was supposed to be easy. Arthur would talk to Francis and he would break up with him then and there. But... feeling him so close... The thought of going through with his plan made him feel both hopeful and hopeless.

Francis reached his arms over Arthur and hugged him tightly. He's not making this easy. Arthur felt tears of frustration welling up beneath his eyes. He loved Francis; he wanted Francis to be by his side forever. He thought he wanted a relationship with Francis. He thought he wanted to spend his life with Francis. He thought. And he never stopped thinking.

...

_"Stop putting so much thought into things! Just enjoy the moment!"_

But he couldn't, could he? It's impossible. If he's not levelheaded, then what would he be?

_"Just shut up and kiss me!"_

No, he can't shut up. He needs to talk things through. He needs to plan things, to go along with those plans, to do things later, to not be spontaneous, to - oh, and he had no choice. His first kiss had been stolen like that, just a couple weeks after they started dating. He tried to hide his uneasiness, tried to push it down so Francis wouldn't think any less of him.

Francis, who was everything Arthur looked up to. He did as he pleased, acted however he wanted to act, became whoever he wanted to become. The opposite of Arthur. Arthur wanted so much to be like Francis, he started hanging out with him, imitating him, even fell in love with him... But he can't just change. Even after so many months, he's still the same worried gentleman who's afraid to try new things.

And he was afraid that Francis would find out. Find out that it was all an act. Francis doesn't deserve that. He deserves good, truthful friends, and a good, truthful significant other. Arthur would bring him nothing but sadness and disappointment. If only it could be different, but it was too late.

"Artie~! Come on...! Talk to me! What's up with you? You're usually so energetic!"

Lies. And Francis had fallen for them. Arthur even fell for them. Every moment spent with Francis was a lie, an act. And it made Arthur feel terrible. It made Arthur hate himself. Though, did he hate who he was acting to be or who he really was? All Arthur knows is that he loves Francis. He loves Francis, but not himself. And it made him sick to think that Francis could love him.

"Hey, Artie. Arthur. Hey."

"What? Oh, I apologize, I tuned out for a moment," Arthur finally replied with a shaky voice, glancing toward Francis and quickly back to the television. The last thing Arthur would do is confront Francis about his feelings. But he's tried everything else. Everything. And this is all that's left.

"Are you okay, mon amour?" Francis brought a hand up to Arthur's face, his soft touch reflected in his concerned eyes.

_Francis..._  
_You're too good for the real Arthur._

"Hey, don't tune out again... Say something, please..."

_You need someone... Better than me..._

"Arthur!" Francis shook him back and forth.

The pressure that was building up beneath his eyes broke free, and tears began to fall down Arthur's face. Tears of surrender. He couldn't do this anymore. Not to Francis.

"ARTHUR-!"

"I -... I'm sorry..." It was barely a whisper. Barely anything, but it was all he could say. It was all he could feel at the moment. Francis deserved better than someone who wasn't real.

"About what? Please tell me..."

"I can't-" Arthur's voice was barely audible, "I cant be with you."

Francis was silent for a moment. "Wh- Why, Arthur? Is something wrong?"

_I'm wrong._  
"Th... There's nothing you can do... I just... I can't be your boyfriend."

"I need to know what's wrong, what it is that makes you think that, Arthur...?"

Arthur tried to say something, but whatever he muttered got caught in his throat and he couldn't speak anymore. Francis said nothing. He just took a hand and rubbed Arthur's back. But the moment he did, a fire shot through Arthur. Frustration welled in his veins. He stood up quickly, turning to Francis, who didn't know how to react.

"Get... Get out of my house!" Arthur said, with such ferocity that anyone would be frightened.

But not Francis. Francis looked up at Arthur with a concerned yet calm expression, "Arthur, if-"

"Get out!"

Their eyes locked together in a battle of wills. Arthur knew only one thing: that he had to get away from Francis. But Francis knew nothing. He had no idea what was happening or why. So the only thing he could do is give the benefit of the doubt. Who knows if it would get worse if he stayed.

Getting out was probably the worst thing Francis felt he could do, but he didn't have much of an option. He got up slowly and turned toward the door. After a few steps, he looked back at Arthur. His entire body was shaking with fury, but his eyes were sad.

...

Arthur had collapsed on the couch the moment the door shut. He let out all of his pent up hatred and frustration. He sobbed and yelled. He cried through the many phone calls from Francis. But eventually it became late enough that the phone calls stopped.

It was only when Arthur was completely out of energy that he was able to calm down. He had done it. He pushed Francis away. Now he couldn't possibly be hurt by Arthur's lies... Someday Francis would forget about Arthur, and go back to his normal life, with normal people. He would never know the feeling of being betrayed by a loved one.

Arthur felt relieved. But he also felt something else. Something hallow, something that would stab into his chest whenever he moved from then on. Something was shattered forever.

Arthur had broken his own heart.


End file.
